Missing What Never Was

I had my "emergency" doctor's visit today at 2:15 this afternoon.  I got there at 2:09 and wasn't seen until after 3:00. It sucked having to sit there for so long, but at least it gave John time to get home from work so he could be there.

The nurse practitioner came in and gave me a quick pelvic and said that she was worried about the blood because it was coming from my cervix, but that she had seen people bleed worse and still have a healthy pregnancy.  She ordered an ultrasound and some bloodwork.

We went in for the ultrasound and she found the sac right away...but there was no baby.  She said if I was earlier, that would be okay, because it would just mean the baby hadn't developed yet, but the sac measured right on time, but there was no sign of a baby, or any sign that there ever HAD been a baby.

We spoke with the doctor again and she said that it was a pregnancy that never involved a baby.  I looked it up and it's called a "blighted ovum".  The egg was fertilized and implanted, but a baby never grew out of it.

She said that within a week I should miscarry it naturally and if not, they'll do a D&C.  I have to go back this Friday to do another blood test, and then I'll go back in 3 weeks for one final count to make sure my hcg levels have dropped enough to show that I've fully miscarried, and to have a "grief meeting" with the doctor.

I just want to thank everyone for all their thoughts and prayers, they've meant a lot.

9 weeks is too short

It's been a rough week here.  
I've been very nervous about having to wait another two weeks to see my doctor, so I called around to different offices in the area, and was able to set up an appointment to see a new doctor this Wednesday.  I was supposed to see his nurse that day, and then set up an appointment to come back in for my pelvic and ultrasound in a week.
Well, Thursday I started spotting.  Nothing bad, nothing overly heavy, it was just there.  I went through the same thing with Charlee, so I wasn't so concerned.  If I was up too much, it would get a little worse, and I would start aching, so I stayed off my feet.
Friday we took Charlee down to visit family and asked my parents to keep her until I could see my OB to make sure things were okay.  I've been off my feet absolutely as much as possible, and John has been AMAZING.  I'm eternally thankful for finding such a man that loves me and would do anything to take care of me and our kids (even when they're not in his arms yet!)
Yesterday I got to take my first belly picture.  So exciting...I kept pictures of my growing tummy from Charlee's pregnancy, and I've always planned to do it this time around too.

Then last night before bed, I started cramping VERY hard.  It would take my breath away and bring tears to my eyes.  It wasn't a constant cramping, it would just hit every few minutes, almost like a bad contraction.  I went to the restroom and I was bleeding.  I spent the night curled up with John BAWLING.
Another miscarriage?  I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle it.  Thank God I have my husband and my Charlee to hold me up!
I called my OB this morning when I got up and was still bleeding.  I had to call the answering service, because OBVIOUSLY, the office isn't opened on a Sunday.  I was amazed when it was MY doctor who called me back.  He was VERY nice.  I've never spoken to him before, but he was very caring and concerned. 
 With my last OB, he was the only doctor in his office and I still hardly EVER got to talk to him if I called the after hours care, it was just whoever was on call in the OB ward that day at the hospital... He was very nice, and when he said that it might be a miscarriage he was explaining that at least, if that's what it is, that I shouldn't have to have a D&C or have any complications from it. He told me to take it easy and to think happy thoughts...suggested I make sure John could come with me tomorrow, so if I was losing it, I would have support, and if it was just a bleed, then John could be there to see the baby for the first time. He was very nice...asked if I needed to talk to him or if I had someone I could call to come be with me for support.
So, I'm stretched out in the recliner, rubbing my belly, and praying to God that he doesn't take this baby too.  Please keep us in your prayers!!

So Thankful

I talk to my pregnant friends online, and listen to the talking about how badly their husband, fiance, or boyfriend is taking their pregnancy, how even though they're approaching their due dates, the men in their lives are out drinking and doing drugs, out blowing money on beer and video games instead of getting things for their kids.....And all I can think of is John.  He works a hard job to make enough money so that I can stay home with Charlee.  And now, with another baby on the way, he's excited, not griping about the extra expenses, or how it's going to mean even less time for us together, and each of us to have any alone time.
I'm so lucky that I have John.  I'm so lucky to have a man who loves me...who would give up anything to make his daughter happy....and who is excited over this new baby even though it IS a shock lol.
We've had our rough spots, and I know we'll probably have more.  But we have a gorgeous little girl, and another baby on the way...and we'll always be a family.  Love has brought us through so many dips and turns in the road, and it will keep up the smooth sailing, and now there's even a little more love in the family :)

Baking Babies With A Toddler

So, I just realized that the title sounds like a wicked witch cookbook listing, but well, you know what I mean!  We are now 7 weeks and 5 days along with Peanut #2,  and little miss Charlee Jean is 21 months old today!

This pregnancy is going SO much easier than Charlee's did.  By this time we'd already spent a night in the ER with a miscarriage scare, was on two different medicines for my morning sickness and could barely move off the couch I was cramping so bad and was so sick.

This time.....I'm have had one morning that I was sick.  I'm not even really having the major food aversions that I had with Charlee.  There have been things that don't SOUND good to me, but nothing that's really made me sick to look at or think about.  Now I just hope it keeps going like this.  I'm not sure if I could manage Charlee if I was that sick again!!

Our first OB appointment isn't until August 6, which is driving me insane.  I will be exactly 11 weeks on the day I go...and everyone else who is due the same time as me has already had an appointment, to at least confirm their levels.  The OB said that's the way they do theirs because there's really nothing they can do if something goes wrong before then.

Which is all good and understandable, but I'm a high-risk pregnancy.  That's the WHOLE REASON we aren't moving back to Perry County next month...I wanted to be up here with better doctors and better hospitals.  That's why we were seen so early and often with Charlee, but evidently that's not going to happen with this doctor until something goes wrong with THIS baby.  It's upsetting, but I guess I understand.  OH well, it's just me, being all nice and pregnant and hormonal.

Charlee's terrible two's have already hit.  It really started this weekend...with a vengeance!!!  She's into everything and won't listen to half the things we say to her.  It's so aggravating, and of course with the new extra hormones....Mommy is having some BAD days.  I love her to death, but she just really is getting to be a handful.  She's usually a really good baby, but this is like toddler PMS lol