Coping

Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since our doctor's appointment when we found out that we weren't going to have our Valentine's baby.


As of Wednesday, my HCG level was still at 17.  They told me I should be down to less than five by now and that still having that much in my blood could mean that I had an incomplete miscarriage.  So, instead of going back in a few days for my blood work, I'm supposed to wait 10 days...so a week from tomorrow, to go back.  She said hopefully by then it will be back to zero.  If not they will have to do something to complete the miscarriage, either a D&C or drugs.  It makes me nervous to think of having to go through much more.  


My first miscarriages weren't like this.  The first one happened and was over within a day.  The second, I had a D&C and just barely spotted for a few days afterwards.  This one has been agony.  I told John if it happens again, I will have another D&C done.


Charlee has kept me busy for the most part, but having to experience the miscarriage for almost 2 weeks was AGONY.  And just when I thought it was finally over, they tell me there's still something going on to cause me to still have a HCG count in my blood tests.


At first, she gave me hope.  She said that it could mean that I was VERY  early into another pregnancy, or that the miscarriage was incomplete.  One of my friends just delivered a very healthy baby and said that at her first OB/GYN appointment with that pregnancy, her count was only 10, and that they'd started her on progesterine shots, and that saved her pregnancy.  


So, last night, I decided to take one of my old pregnancy tests.  They detect 25 mlU/mg HCG, so if I was pregnant, I should have made enough HCG between Wednesday and last night for it to show, but it was negative.  So, I'm prepping myself to go through some more tests and work to finish out this miscarriage.  

Please keep our little family in your thoughts and prayers!