10wk 4 days. Heart rate 153
11wk 2 days. Heartrate 138
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Worst Week EVER!
Last weekend when we went home, Nana had just been released from the hospital. She was unable to sit, stand or lay down by herself...couldn't walk even WITH help, and was just feeling HORRIBLE. She was home for two days before Mom had to take her back to the hospital.
John helped Mom and Dad get her to the car and we kissed and said good-bye. I told John when we left that it felt like THE good-bye, and I was terrified I wouldn't see her again.
Sunday Mom said Nana was VERY sick and they were having trouble with a lot of things at the hospital. Monday she called to say she was even worse and the doctors were discussing timelines. John was planning to take off Thursday so we could go home for a long weekend. Tuesday morning, Mom called and said I needed to come home. I texted John at work and told him to tell them that was his final day for the week, so he did.
We left almost as soon as he walked through the door and flew down. When we got to the hospital, Nana was sleeping, and coming in and out. She never did speak, but when we talked to her (and especially when she heard Charlee) she would grunt or raise her eyebrows. I told her I loved her and that we were back home and would be there all week for her.
Wednesday morning, I woke up early and when John got up, I told him we had to go straight to the hospital instead of waiting like we'd planned. So, the three of us got dressed and made the mad dash to the hospital. We got there at 820 and Mom was coming off the elevator when we got there. We stopped to talk and she said the doctor said things were bad, and we didn't have much longer. Just as she was getting ready to go outside to make a call, Katie came flying off the elevator and said we had to come upstairs. We had to wait FOREVER for the elevator, but we made it back just in time. We had about 5 minutes with Nana before she passed.
I don't think I have ever cried as hard as I did sitting in that waiting room with John and Charlee. It felt like my world was falling apart. We have had the miscarriages and other losses in our life, but nothing like the loss of my Nana.
Then, after finally starting to come to terms with losing her, we had the funeral today, which may have been just as hard as Wednesday. Somehow that was just the "finale" of it all. It made it so much more real, and so much more painful.
I know that she is in a better place now, and that we are the only ones in pain. I am thankful that she went easily and before the pain was too bad. My Nana meant so much to everyone who knew her, and I just want to thank everyone for all the prayers and support...it means a lot.
We played this song at her funeral...it fits so well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCvgXw-Bh04
John helped Mom and Dad get her to the car and we kissed and said good-bye. I told John when we left that it felt like THE good-bye, and I was terrified I wouldn't see her again.
Sunday Mom said Nana was VERY sick and they were having trouble with a lot of things at the hospital. Monday she called to say she was even worse and the doctors were discussing timelines. John was planning to take off Thursday so we could go home for a long weekend. Tuesday morning, Mom called and said I needed to come home. I texted John at work and told him to tell them that was his final day for the week, so he did.
We left almost as soon as he walked through the door and flew down. When we got to the hospital, Nana was sleeping, and coming in and out. She never did speak, but when we talked to her (and especially when she heard Charlee) she would grunt or raise her eyebrows. I told her I loved her and that we were back home and would be there all week for her.
Wednesday morning, I woke up early and when John got up, I told him we had to go straight to the hospital instead of waiting like we'd planned. So, the three of us got dressed and made the mad dash to the hospital. We got there at 820 and Mom was coming off the elevator when we got there. We stopped to talk and she said the doctor said things were bad, and we didn't have much longer. Just as she was getting ready to go outside to make a call, Katie came flying off the elevator and said we had to come upstairs. We had to wait FOREVER for the elevator, but we made it back just in time. We had about 5 minutes with Nana before she passed.
I don't think I have ever cried as hard as I did sitting in that waiting room with John and Charlee. It felt like my world was falling apart. We have had the miscarriages and other losses in our life, but nothing like the loss of my Nana.
Then, after finally starting to come to terms with losing her, we had the funeral today, which may have been just as hard as Wednesday. Somehow that was just the "finale" of it all. It made it so much more real, and so much more painful.
I know that she is in a better place now, and that we are the only ones in pain. I am thankful that she went easily and before the pain was too bad. My Nana meant so much to everyone who knew her, and I just want to thank everyone for all the prayers and support...it means a lot.
We played this song at her funeral...it fits so well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCvgXw-Bh04
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About Me
- charleesmommy
- SAHM to a beautiful, wonderful, miracle princess named Charlee Jean. Married to my high school sweetheart for over 6 years now, and expecting another miracle baby in October 2011