10wk 4 days. Heart rate 153
11wk 2 days. Heartrate 138
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Worst Week EVER!
Last weekend when we went home, Nana had just been released from the hospital. She was unable to sit, stand or lay down by herself...couldn't walk even WITH help, and was just feeling HORRIBLE. She was home for two days before Mom had to take her back to the hospital.
John helped Mom and Dad get her to the car and we kissed and said good-bye. I told John when we left that it felt like THE good-bye, and I was terrified I wouldn't see her again.
Sunday Mom said Nana was VERY sick and they were having trouble with a lot of things at the hospital. Monday she called to say she was even worse and the doctors were discussing timelines. John was planning to take off Thursday so we could go home for a long weekend. Tuesday morning, Mom called and said I needed to come home. I texted John at work and told him to tell them that was his final day for the week, so he did.
We left almost as soon as he walked through the door and flew down. When we got to the hospital, Nana was sleeping, and coming in and out. She never did speak, but when we talked to her (and especially when she heard Charlee) she would grunt or raise her eyebrows. I told her I loved her and that we were back home and would be there all week for her.
Wednesday morning, I woke up early and when John got up, I told him we had to go straight to the hospital instead of waiting like we'd planned. So, the three of us got dressed and made the mad dash to the hospital. We got there at 820 and Mom was coming off the elevator when we got there. We stopped to talk and she said the doctor said things were bad, and we didn't have much longer. Just as she was getting ready to go outside to make a call, Katie came flying off the elevator and said we had to come upstairs. We had to wait FOREVER for the elevator, but we made it back just in time. We had about 5 minutes with Nana before she passed.
I don't think I have ever cried as hard as I did sitting in that waiting room with John and Charlee. It felt like my world was falling apart. We have had the miscarriages and other losses in our life, but nothing like the loss of my Nana.
Then, after finally starting to come to terms with losing her, we had the funeral today, which may have been just as hard as Wednesday. Somehow that was just the "finale" of it all. It made it so much more real, and so much more painful.
I know that she is in a better place now, and that we are the only ones in pain. I am thankful that she went easily and before the pain was too bad. My Nana meant so much to everyone who knew her, and I just want to thank everyone for all the prayers and support...it means a lot.
We played this song at her funeral...it fits so well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCvgXw-Bh04
John helped Mom and Dad get her to the car and we kissed and said good-bye. I told John when we left that it felt like THE good-bye, and I was terrified I wouldn't see her again.
Sunday Mom said Nana was VERY sick and they were having trouble with a lot of things at the hospital. Monday she called to say she was even worse and the doctors were discussing timelines. John was planning to take off Thursday so we could go home for a long weekend. Tuesday morning, Mom called and said I needed to come home. I texted John at work and told him to tell them that was his final day for the week, so he did.
We left almost as soon as he walked through the door and flew down. When we got to the hospital, Nana was sleeping, and coming in and out. She never did speak, but when we talked to her (and especially when she heard Charlee) she would grunt or raise her eyebrows. I told her I loved her and that we were back home and would be there all week for her.
Wednesday morning, I woke up early and when John got up, I told him we had to go straight to the hospital instead of waiting like we'd planned. So, the three of us got dressed and made the mad dash to the hospital. We got there at 820 and Mom was coming off the elevator when we got there. We stopped to talk and she said the doctor said things were bad, and we didn't have much longer. Just as she was getting ready to go outside to make a call, Katie came flying off the elevator and said we had to come upstairs. We had to wait FOREVER for the elevator, but we made it back just in time. We had about 5 minutes with Nana before she passed.
I don't think I have ever cried as hard as I did sitting in that waiting room with John and Charlee. It felt like my world was falling apart. We have had the miscarriages and other losses in our life, but nothing like the loss of my Nana.
Then, after finally starting to come to terms with losing her, we had the funeral today, which may have been just as hard as Wednesday. Somehow that was just the "finale" of it all. It made it so much more real, and so much more painful.
I know that she is in a better place now, and that we are the only ones in pain. I am thankful that she went easily and before the pain was too bad. My Nana meant so much to everyone who knew her, and I just want to thank everyone for all the prayers and support...it means a lot.
We played this song at her funeral...it fits so well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCvgXw-Bh04
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Wonderful Wednesday
Our wonderful Wednesday gift
Baby Stewart, measuring 1 day behind, so 7weeks 2 days!!!
Everything looked perfect.
We got to see the heart fluttering and got to hear the tiny heartbeat....143 beats per minute.
We are in love!!!!!
Everything looked perfect.
We got to see the heart fluttering and got to hear the tiny heartbeat....143 beats per minute.
We are in love!!!!!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Nerves!!!
We are 7weeks and 3 days pregnant now. My morning sickness started last weekend, but thankfully John was on vacation so he was able to help out :) I didn't really get SICK, it was ALL heartburn. At first peppermints helped, then that wore out, thee milk helped, then that quit, too. So I finally called my OB/GYN yesterday and she called in some phenegren and told me to buy a bottle of Pepcid for the heartburn. All I can say is Pepcid is my new best friend!!! I finally feel like a normal person again!
Tomorrow is our first ultrasound. I'm so nervous. I think that everything is okay, I'm feeling sick, my belly is DEFINITELY growing (I've been in maternity jeans since 6wks!) and I still "feel" pregnant. So, here's to hoping that there is a beautiful little "Bean" in there with a beating heart. Please pray for us tonight and tomorrow that everything is okay in there! I will post tomorrow as soon as I get home :)
Tomorrow is our first ultrasound. I'm so nervous. I think that everything is okay, I'm feeling sick, my belly is DEFINITELY growing (I've been in maternity jeans since 6wks!) and I still "feel" pregnant. So, here's to hoping that there is a beautiful little "Bean" in there with a beating heart. Please pray for us tonight and tomorrow that everything is okay in there! I will post tomorrow as soon as I get home :)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Happy Birthday To Me!
It's my birthday today...the big quarter century mark!! Went to dinner with John's parents at Texas Roadhouse. Tomorrow we are going down to my parents' and staying until Sunday. Dad is taking my Explorer to the shop and getting it fixed for me and we're having my birthday dinner...grilling out and a DQ ice cream cake!!
Now, on to the big news....CHARLEE IS GOING TO BE A BIG SISTER!!!!
I am due October 30, but the OB said that because of the issues that caused me to deliver Charlee early, this baby will probably come on the same schedule, which would put me going into labor on September 27.
Now, on to the big news....CHARLEE IS GOING TO BE A BIG SISTER!!!!
I am due October 30, but the OB said that because of the issues that caused me to deliver Charlee early, this baby will probably come on the same schedule, which would put me going into labor on September 27.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
We're Making It
Well, I survived what would've been my due date. I was stuck on the couch all day yesterday because I felt like crap, but I worked on crafts for my Secret Mama Exchange on What to Expect. I drew a little boy and I'm making him a blanket, I crocheted a basketball and football and stuffed them ...and then I found little trains with letters on them, and bought and painted them to spell out his name :)
I kept busy enough that the pain didn't really hit until after John and Charlee were in bed. I've been going to bed with John for the past week, but last night I couldn't sleep...and I just needed the alone time. I cried for awhile and thought about how different our lives would be right now if we had a second baby in the house.
But there are good things happening in our family, and life is looking back up. School is going good and my first quarter will be over in two weeks...and I'm getting 2 A's and 1 B. I would've had 3 A's, but there was an issue with submission of a few assignments and my teacher let me re-take the test, but I didn't get the opportunity to re-submit the homework. Oh well, by letting me redo the test, it brought me up from the F I was getting because of those assignments not being accepted!!!!!
Wednesday is my 25th birthday. We are finally going to try the Cheesecake Factory <3!!!! John is on vacation starting Thursday, so we're going to take Charlee to her Mamaw and Papaw's and then John and I are going to Cheesecake Factory and going to see a movie! I'm looking forward to it :)
I kept busy enough that the pain didn't really hit until after John and Charlee were in bed. I've been going to bed with John for the past week, but last night I couldn't sleep...and I just needed the alone time. I cried for awhile and thought about how different our lives would be right now if we had a second baby in the house.
But there are good things happening in our family, and life is looking back up. School is going good and my first quarter will be over in two weeks...and I'm getting 2 A's and 1 B. I would've had 3 A's, but there was an issue with submission of a few assignments and my teacher let me re-take the test, but I didn't get the opportunity to re-submit the homework. Oh well, by letting me redo the test, it brought me up from the F I was getting because of those assignments not being accepted!!!!!
Wednesday is my 25th birthday. We are finally going to try the Cheesecake Factory <3!!!! John is on vacation starting Thursday, so we're going to take Charlee to her Mamaw and Papaw's and then John and I are going to Cheesecake Factory and going to see a movie! I'm looking forward to it :)
Friday, February 25, 2011
Tomorrow
Tomorrow will be a hard day, no matter which way we look at it.
Tomorrow would have been our due date if I hadn't miscarried last July.
We should be holding a newborn baby, and instead we'll be thinking of the what could've been, what should've been....and what is. I know there is a reason for everything that happens, but that doesn't make my grief any less.
Things have been getting better, and some good news has blessed our family lately. We found out Nana's cacner is in remission. She had Stage 4 Colo-Rectal cancer....her doctor told us that there is only a 3% remission rate once it gets that far, and he has NEVER seen anyone over 60 beat it....Nana will be 75 in May :) My Nana is a strong woman, she beat breast cancer, then it returned and she lost her left breast, but she beat it again....then lung cancer came and she lost the bottom third of her left lung, but she beat that too. And now this.....the cancer was pretty much everywhere, and now it's just.....NOT. I think God has great plans for her, and He knows how much we need her around!!!
There is more good news too, but we're waiting to see how things play out before discussing them aloud...so keep an eye out for updates <3
Tomorrow would have been our due date if I hadn't miscarried last July.
We should be holding a newborn baby, and instead we'll be thinking of the what could've been, what should've been....and what is. I know there is a reason for everything that happens, but that doesn't make my grief any less.
Things have been getting better, and some good news has blessed our family lately. We found out Nana's cacner is in remission. She had Stage 4 Colo-Rectal cancer....her doctor told us that there is only a 3% remission rate once it gets that far, and he has NEVER seen anyone over 60 beat it....Nana will be 75 in May :) My Nana is a strong woman, she beat breast cancer, then it returned and she lost her left breast, but she beat it again....then lung cancer came and she lost the bottom third of her left lung, but she beat that too. And now this.....the cancer was pretty much everywhere, and now it's just.....NOT. I think God has great plans for her, and He knows how much we need her around!!!
There is more good news too, but we're waiting to see how things play out before discussing them aloud...so keep an eye out for updates <3
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About Me
- charleesmommy
- SAHM to a beautiful, wonderful, miracle princess named Charlee Jean. Married to my high school sweetheart for over 6 years now, and expecting another miracle baby in October 2011