We're Making It

Well, I survived what would've been my due date.  I was stuck on the couch all day yesterday because I felt like crap, but I worked on crafts for my Secret Mama Exchange on What to Expect.  I drew a little boy and I'm making him a blanket, I crocheted a basketball and football and stuffed them ...and then I found little trains with letters on them, and bought and painted them to spell out his name :)

I kept busy enough that the pain didn't really hit until after John and Charlee were in bed.  I've been going to bed with John for the past week, but last night I couldn't sleep...and I just needed the alone time.  I cried for awhile and thought about how different our lives would be right now if we had a second baby in the house.

But there are good things happening in our family, and life is looking back up.  School is going good and my first quarter will be over in two weeks...and I'm getting 2 A's and 1 B.  I would've had 3 A's, but there was an issue with submission of a few assignments and my teacher let me re-take the test, but I didn't get the opportunity to re-submit the homework.  Oh well, by letting me redo the test, it brought me up from the F I was getting because of those assignments not being accepted!!!!!

Wednesday is my 25th birthday.  We are finally going to try the Cheesecake Factory <3!!!!  John is on vacation starting Thursday, so we're going to take Charlee to her Mamaw and Papaw's and then John and I are going to Cheesecake Factory and going to see a movie!  I'm looking forward to it :)

Tomorrow

Tomorrow will be a hard day, no matter which way we look at it. 
Tomorrow would have been our due date if I hadn't miscarried last July.
We should be holding a newborn baby, and instead we'll be thinking of the what could've been, what should've been....and what is.  I know there is a reason for everything that happens, but that doesn't make my grief any less.
Things have been getting better, and some good news has blessed our family lately.  We found out Nana's cacner is in remission.  She had Stage 4 Colo-Rectal cancer....her doctor told us that there is only a 3% remission rate once it gets that far, and he has NEVER seen anyone over 60 beat it....Nana will be 75 in May :)  My Nana is a strong woman, she beat breast cancer, then it returned and she lost her left breast, but she beat it again....then lung cancer came and she lost the bottom third of her left lung, but she beat that too.  And now this.....the cancer was pretty much everywhere, and now it's just.....NOT.  I think God has great plans for her, and He knows how much we need her around!!!
There is more good news too, but we're waiting to see how things play out before discussing them aloud...so keep an eye out for updates <3